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Being a Bachelor

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brian melton:

    I will just say, they (women) are a confusing critter, it's no wonder why men spend as much time trying to figure out the whitetail deer........most have not figured them out yet (the deer) and just when you think you do, WELL you know......just like women ;D

Eric Krewson:
My first wife hit the road assured that the married guy she was seeing was going to leave his wife for her, he didn't.

I spent 7 years as a bachelor making good money and doing what ever I wanted to. I was always looking for another wife during this time but it took a while to find the right person, I found her 27 years ago.

I really enjoy my solitude when she visits her kids for a week or so and settle back bachelor mode quite quickly. Hunting every day, going to movies by myself, making a mess in the kitchen and not cleaning it up until I feel like it, that sot of thing.

It does take me a day or so to transition back to married couples mode when she returns but she is a keeper.

Badger:
  Probably nothing better than a good marriage, sadly it doesn't work out for everybody. I certainly didn't mean to come off like marriage was bad. I think the ideal marriage would be one where each person still maintained their own passions and dreams. I know I spent too much time with my bird dogs and my buddies, I would change that if I had a chance but I doubt it would have done much good in my case. I really believe happiness is an inside job married or not. I heard a guy say on a radio show one time that when people fall in love they actually fall in love with the way they feel about themselves when they are with that other person. Men like to feel like they are respected, I have heard the greatest compliment a woman can pay to a man is to simply listen to what he is saying. I have found I get along better with women who have plenty of interests and passions that have nothing to do with me, it might be business or something creative like art or writing, doesn't really matter as long as I don't become their hobby LOL. I know I feel good about myself when I can encourage someone to be the best person they can be and at some level we can share our accomplishments with each other, however modest they may be. I guess different things work for different folks. Steve

Josh:
well-put Steve.  :) I really like this thread.

Dane:
I think if you cant be happy with yourself, you are going to have a hard time being happy with anyone else.

Romance is fine, but in the end, friendship with your spouse / partner is more important.

One of the things I have learned from being married is that what you lack the other can bring to the partnership. My wife tends to be very serious and even dour, and I am stupid silly and like to laugh, and make her laugh. I suck at banking and paying bills, so she does that. I cook 100% of the time, she burns water. I tend to be much better at housekeeping, and she is better at other things. Oddly, our traditional gender rolls are reversed a lot of the time, but it works fine for us.

Marriage / romantic relationships really are give and take, and if you give far more than you take, or visa versa, there is something wrong with the blance of the relationship.

As others have said, seperate lives and interests are a good thing. If you are entwined 100% in the other, you loose a big part of yourself. I had a buddy who's wife was slowly eliminating the things he loved from his life, and I could see that it was not going to end well.

I guess in the end, those who are happy alone, for a few hours or a lifetime, are far stronger and happier overall. Alone doesnt have to mean lonely.

Dane

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