Primitive Archer

Main Discussion Area => Around the Campfire => Topic started by: Hillbilly on March 17, 2009, 09:52:29 pm

Title: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 17, 2009, 09:52:29 pm: It's baaaaccckkkk....the world famous often-imitated but never-equaled Primitive Archer Stupid St. Patrick's Day Limericks thread!

Here's a couple to get you started, let's hear 'em.

A drunken old bowyer named Lou
Bought some powerful quick-setting glue
But he mixed it too strong
And held on too long
Now his fingers are backed with bamboo......

There once was an archer from Guam
Who made an arrow attached to a bomb
He thought it great sport
But the fuse was too short
Let us now sing the ninetieth psalm......

A daring young archer named Blair
Shot an arrow straight up in the air
But our young friend soon found
What goes up must come down
Now there's feathers sticking out of his hair.......

There once was a feller named Pat
Who would steal all the neighborhood cats
He cooked them in foil
With some garlic and oil
And ate them-now how about that? ........
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: mullet on March 17, 2009, 09:56:50 pm: that's funny, don't you work?
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: ricktrojanowski on March 17, 2009, 09:58:53 pm: That feller named Pat....Is that Pat B? ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 17, 2009, 10:24:26 pm: Rick-you mean this guy? ;D

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 17, 2009, 10:26:35 pm: There once was a fellow named Ray
Who built sixty bows every day
He bought rasps by the case
His shavings-pile was visible from space
And the forests in his county went away

There once was a knapper named Clint
Who stole a big boulder of flint
From the courthouse foundation
There was an investigation
And off to the slammer he went
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Pat B on March 17, 2009, 10:53:48 pm: boys d'arc
The boys of the archery club
spent most of their time in the pub
when the tournament came, it was such a shame
for the boys of the archery club.

while shooting my bow made of wood
the other guys thought it no good
they tried as they might to say it's not right
but my arrows went right where they should

There once was a guy named Auclair
whose bow got caught in his hair
with a turn and a twist and a flick of his wrist
and there is his hair down there
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Timo on March 17, 2009, 10:54:13 pm: There once was a hunter named pat
Whose toes made his feet look fat
He hunted all day
Till his beard turned to grey
and al he could catch was that cat!

(sorry Pat,had to add lib) :)

There's an onery old chap named Hillbilly
Who resides in a country so hilly
Building bows,arrow and stone points
(maybe goes to beer joints)
Writing limricks making others sound silly

:)
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: hawkbow on March 18, 2009, 12:28:56 am: there once was a site called PA
where bowyers spent too much time of a day
there were those who made arrows and those who built bows
those who killed cats and had giant toes

some were from the east, and some from the west
one old one from Canada they say just might be the best

some made arrowheads from a porcelain throne.
and some use only the finest of stone

some like them snakey and some like em straight
but you can bet they will all reach the desired tiller and weight

I stalk the high lands with a bow in my hands
some would say I am a strange sort of man

but to them I would say they that they should know

I belong to a brotherhood. the brotherhood of the bow
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Pat B on March 18, 2009, 01:15:38 am: Them kittens can sure nuff be tender
the pleasure's intense that they render
the sweet little toes, the tail and the nose
but the bestest part I peel from my fender
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Timo on March 18, 2009, 08:08:11 am: Pat...... Love the fender part . ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 18, 2009, 08:35:42 am: ;D ;D ;D ;D Good ones, guys.

A physics professor named Joe
Once built the world's fastest bow
It shot so fast and hard
That wooden shafts would be charred
And aluminum arrows would glow...........

There once was a feller from France
Who bowhunted without any pants
But he stopped to rest
And sat in an ant nest
My, how those Frenchmen can dance!...........

A compulsive flintknapper named Hank
While on the toilet, broke off the tank
He was chipping a knife
When he was found by his wife
She said he was the reason she drank............

Pat found a healthy recipe
To marinate cats in green tea
They were tender when fried
It lowered his triglycerides
Plus, he said it killed all the fleas..........
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Timo on March 18, 2009, 08:40:19 am: There once was a knapper from Norway
Who used to knapp in the doorway
The door slammed shut
And slapped him on the butt
So now he knapps in the hallway.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: nugget on March 18, 2009, 09:33:50 am: Those made my day brighter. It is always good to start your day with a smile.
Thanks
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Postman on March 18, 2009, 12:11:27 pm: Picking cucumbers right by my back door,
A copperhead skin i did score
She'll look good on a bow
But she did lay me low
8 months later, my finger's still sore......
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Pat B on March 18, 2009, 02:41:54 pm: How 'bout an Irish haiku... ;D

with my bow in hand
I walk amongst the green trees
in search of a stump
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 18, 2009, 03:07:50 pm: Quote from: Pat B on March 18, 2009, 02:41:54 pm
How 'bout an Irish haiku... ;D

with my bow in hand
I walk amongst the green trees
in search of a stump

Or:

He lurks among trees
With sautee pan well-concealed
Here kitty, kitty

;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 18, 2009, 03:13:10 pm: There once was a feller named Mullet
Who had a head that was shaped like a bullet
He drank from the jug
Then he caught a a big bug
And swallered it right down his gullet

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Pat B on March 18, 2009, 03:29:56 pm: here kitty kitty
my stomach rumbles loudly
here kitty kitty

There is a group of bowyer named Parker
who's family tree came from the darker....side
with all of his cousins, they are here by the dozens
but we couldn't find a genetic marker
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 18, 2009, 04:50:23 pm: ;D We're just trying to get our family tree straight enough to split good staves from. ;D

There once was a bowyer named Mitch
Who tried something new to get rich
He carved bows from steel staves
The reviews were all raves
But he said that chasing those rings was a @$#&%*.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: JackCrafty on March 18, 2009, 06:35:11 pm: There once was a feller named Snitch,
When sanding his bows he would itch.
One day he decided to switch,
“Dang! Sanding FG is a pain!”

Snitch went in search of a stave,
Determined, lighthearted, and brave.
A kiss to his wife he did gave,
And bought one from a feller named Dave.

In a week the stave did arrive,
“Dang! This here branch’s still alive!
I’m goin’ ta git one from Clive!”
So, to the house of Clive he did drive.

Clive once ran a bow forum,
Where all would learn a lot from ‘im.
But Clive did it all out of boredom,
He quit….and now teaches decorum.

“I need ta make me a bow!”
“I dunno Snitch, ……quit years ago.”
“You gotta tell me whatcha know!
This FG itchin’s got to go!”

So Clive taught Snitch how to tiller,
And he made ‘im bow that was killer.
Now he loves osage 'n arrows of willer,
And even gave up the ol’ Miller.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Pat B on March 18, 2009, 07:13:05 pm: Patrick, I can't buy that last line! ::)
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: JackCrafty on March 18, 2009, 07:16:12 pm: :D

Hmmmmm....how about "Loves 'em more than his wife but won't tell 'er?"

;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Pat B on March 18, 2009, 08:50:15 pm: Now you're talkin'! ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: adb on March 18, 2009, 09:00:35 pm: There once was an archer named Guy,
Who shot an arrow straight up in the sky.
He soon found, that what goes up must come down,
And now he's missing an eye.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: predatorcaller on March 18, 2009, 09:10:42 pm: Some could hunt and fish every day
to us it would seem more like play
days alone in the bush
could turn some into mush
but to us it,s the natural way Lloyd
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 18, 2009, 09:38:16 pm: Y'all are talented, good stuff.
ADB, that'un sounds a bit familiar....:)

There once was a bowyer named Wong
Who used his new bandsaw all wrong
He didn't read the book
Many chances he took
Now his fingers are about an inch long.....

An enormous strong pirate named Moe
Made a five hundred pound bow
He pulled back the string
But it caught his ear ring
Now he looks like Vincent Van Gogh........
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: ricktrojanowski on March 18, 2009, 10:05:32 pm: Yeah, that's the guy. I think I saw him stalking cats up north one time.

A crazy ol' Yooper I knew
He traded in maple in sinew
He spent all his money on shipping and beer
Now he lives in an igloo.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: JackCrafty on March 19, 2009, 02:52:38 pm: I knew a bow puller named Mac.
Every bow he pulled on would crack.
He hated the bows that would stack,
"Give me that bow...I'll give it right back!".

So I let ol' Mac pull on my bow,
His face lit up with a glow.
As he pulled his smile it would grow,
And a tingle went down to his toe.

CRACK!!! was all I could hear,
And my eye welled up with a tear,
Ol' Mac had pulled to his ear,
And ruined the work of a year.

"Sorry about that ol' Pat,
"I guess that that is just that."
But next time I see that ol' Mac,
I'll kiss his thick skull with my bat.

;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 17, 2010, 11:45:36 am: Begorra! It's St. Patty's day again. Commence to limerickin'!! ;D

There once was a man from Juneau
Who went to hunt grizzlies with a twenty-pound bow
He snuck up on one
And shot it in the right bun
Now he ain't around there no mo.

There once was a feller named Dale
Who attempted to play William Tell
With an apple and a buddy
But his aim was kinda cruddy
Now he's living in the local town jail
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 17, 2010, 12:27:52 pm: There once was a knapper from Nantucket 8)
Who had some nice flint in a five-gallon bucket
But one night while he slept
Another knapper crept
Up to his bucket and tookit.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: RidgeRunner on March 17, 2010, 03:10:25 pm: No reason to let Hillbilly have all the fun... ;D

Down the mountain the bolder did roll
It's crashing left a terrible toll
Move it, no one could
Like sentanal it had stood
Until Hillbilly cousins did chicken coop boll.....

That was as funny of story as I have ever heard....

David
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 17, 2010, 03:35:29 pm: ssshhhhhhh.....;D ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Parnell on March 17, 2010, 03:37:44 pm: There was a bald hunter named Fudd,
who tracked wascally wabbits through mud.
His head turned deep red,
when the fleeing rabbit said,
"Hey Elmer, go chew your cud!".
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Mechslasher on March 17, 2010, 04:40:39 pm: steve, you stole the one i was thinking about with the ants. ;D but i'll give it a try:

there once was a hog hunter named hillbilly
he hunted in the heat til he was silly
he strung his bow
but it was a no go
he then brought out the big gun
but that was no fun
i saw him at sundown
but he forgot to look down
and on the way back
i thought he was having a heart attack
but it was the fire ants that were making him dance all around.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: medicinewheel on March 17, 2010, 04:46:26 pm: Guys..about your poetry...well...don't quit your daytime job! >:D >:D >:D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: HatchA on March 17, 2010, 05:00:37 pm: I have no limericks or poetry to offer but I will say "Happy Patrick's Day" from Ireland :D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: WOODSLORE on March 17, 2010, 05:03:09 pm: There once was a groundhog so big
that he made my new bow seem like a twig
he was eatin my taters
so I said get ya laters
and went home to get me sumpin real big
I got me a tree that took a millienia to grow
and shaped it into a twelve-hundred pound bow
the next time I saw im he looked like hogzilla
but I sighted on up that big fella
my arra flew true like a rocket I knew
Id be haven that brute tonight fer supper
but woe is me for now you see
I got a bow that herniates me ;)
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: cracker on March 17, 2010, 05:31:00 pm: I once knew a guy with chiggers.
The whelps got bigger and bigger.
Next time says he no more chiggers you'll see.
My weapon a Jeep will be.
Guess who I'm talking about.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 17, 2010, 05:39:20 pm: Quote from: Mechslasher on March 17, 2010, 04:40:39 pm
steve, you stole the one i was thinking about with the ants. ;D but i'll give it a try:

there once was a hog hunter named hillbilly
he hunted in the heat til he was silly
he strung his bow
but it was a no go
he then brought out the big gun
but that was no fun
i saw him at sundown
but he forgot to look down
and on the way back
i thought he was having a heart attack
but it was the fire ants that were making him dance all around.

Hahahahahah.

There once was a feller named Chris
He did to me something like this:
He pulled up in the dark and parked on fahr ants
When I was standing there talking to him they all run up my pants
And 'bout five thousand of 'em gave me a kiss.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: mullet on March 17, 2010, 06:48:52 pm: Ronnie, ::) ::) ::) ;D ;)
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Mechslasher on March 17, 2010, 06:55:05 pm: sorry steve. i couldn't resist.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: cracker on March 17, 2010, 07:29:03 pm: Sorry Eddie Thats the best I could do.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: recurve shooter on March 17, 2010, 08:19:28 pm: lol thats got to be the funniest stuff iv read all day. ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: zenmonkeyman on March 17, 2010, 09:24:08 pm: There once was a feller named Cover
Who was an outdated term lover
His every reply
Brought rolls to our eyes
'Til t'was said, "Take 'er and shove 'er!"

Haha Steve, couldn't resist. 'Twas all in good fun! ;)
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: mullet on March 17, 2010, 09:25:44 pm: Awww Zen ::) ::) ::) ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: recurve shooter on March 17, 2010, 09:56:38 pm: lol that was good zenmonkey
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Pat B on March 18, 2010, 12:22:10 am: I'm drawing a blank but loving all the limericks.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: stickbender on March 18, 2010, 01:47:01 am: Ol parker made a bow, that was strung so tight,
that the speed of the arrow was far faster than light!
With that bow, he shot an arrow one day,
it shot from the bow in a relative way, and it came back the previous night!

Poor ol Mullet, went to Brazil.
We all felt bad, cause he was workin, and that ain't no thrill.
He made friends with one of the rancher's lovelier live stock,
Till the Rancher saw the boot prints on the Termite mound, and on the gate put a lock!
The locals would feed him great food, give him great drinks, and he didn't even have to pay the bill!

Ol Pat lived in the mountains of North Carolina.
With fresh mountain air, and beautiful views, life couldn't be finah.
But with feet the size of Paul Buyon's ,
His shoes were huge, and when he took them off they smelled like rotten oinons!
But he could kick a tyranus rex, and I bet that would really make a sore Dina !

Wayne
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: stickbender on March 18, 2010, 02:01:36 am: Hunter Trapper went to the Western Mountains to live like a Mountain man, and there was no pretendins.
He would fish, and trap, drink rain water, and wash his clothes in the streams, while holding them by the suspendins!
Ah, but he was not the only archer in the woods, as he met a cute little Native American, ol Cupid sent forth his arrow.
But when her father the chief heard of this, he looked him and his eyes began to narrow.
Boy I bet they will open up wider, when he finds out that soon there will be.....one little , two little, three little indians..... ;D ;D

Wayne

Ol Shannon, wanted to make stone arrow heads, and knife blades, to hunt with, and whittle up plants.
So he got with ol Eddie, who took him to Claude's, and he learned to make em so sharp, he could whittle ants!
The most of us who try to learn this craft, have to go through all the trials and tribulations of leaning to knapp.
Oh, but not so with Ol Shannon, he just sat there and watched Ol Claude, and started to make em like putting on his cap.
It jsut isn't fair to the rest of us who have to struggle, and waste good rock, but we have to agree he is good, even if he is a little smarty pants!

Wayne
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: stickbender on March 18, 2010, 02:18:39 am: Way up above the mighty Mac, lives a yooper, way back in the trees,
He works in the city, keeping the City's poop chutes running, and not letting em freeze.
When he is not working, he fishing and hunting when ever he can,
Actually he is really quite the outdoors type of man.
His lovely Wife makes him take off his work clothes outside, if you ever got downwind, they'd bring you to your knees!

Wayne

In Tennessee lives Ol Pappy, as nice a guy as you'd ever find,
he'll teach you to make a bow, arrow, and feed you, yeah, that's the kind.
Every year, he hosts the classic, and a whole bunch always attend,
They meet and greet, and eat, and learn archery, and hate for it to end.
Ol Mullet got some spring water, and washed down a June bug, and Ol Pappy thought he'd lost his mind !

Wayne
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: stickbender on March 18, 2010, 03:13:15 am: Two Irish Lads were sitting in a pub, on a bright St. Patty's Day
As they had been there quite awhile, three sheets were soon on the way.
Said O'Riley to O'Bannon, Ahhh as sweet a lass as ever, I have found.
If that be so, said O'Bannon,why is it me yer drinking with, and she is not around?
Well says O'Riley, she's a teetotaler! Oh, says O'Bannon An English Girl, Aye, says O'riley, sad to say.

That's for HatchA ;D ;D and one more below
Wayne

Irish whiskey, is so very fine, that I will take it over beer and wine, and Schnaps too,
There are those who think the Irish can't make a fine whiskey, but I beg to differ with you.
Fine spring water runnin through the peat, in Tullamore County,and fine barely grains toasted,
makes for a great ending to a meal of fowl, and pork, and a potato, be it baked or roasted.
Ah, yes you can boast of your Lord Bushmills, and speak with an air, but for me I'll have the finest, my Tullamor Dew!

Give every man his Dew! Wayne
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: DanaM on March 18, 2010, 07:29:55 am: Your qite the character wayne, you need to come to the Classic donchano eh :)
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: stickbender on March 18, 2010, 05:01:11 pm: Dana, I would love to, but at the moment, I can't afford to. :(

Wayne
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: HatchA on March 18, 2010, 06:27:05 pm: Wayne... that's a fine talent you've got there, pal! Thanks for the dedication :D

***edit***

I'd like to share a haiku that I saw on a t-shirt a while back...

"Haikus are easy

But sometimes they don't make sense

Refrigerator"
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: stickbender on March 18, 2010, 07:21:54 pm: HatchA;
Thank you Sir. Actually me ancestors were Brittish, but I do have a strong afinity to the Irish. ;) ......and their whiskey....... ;D
And their Holidays, and Limericks.

I sit here in this pub, celbrating St. Paddy's Day, but on the green beer ,I thik I will pass.
I can't eat another corned beef sandwhich, and oh how corned beef, and cabbage gives me gas.
ever since opening time, I have now sampled all the various spirits, for which the shelves have room.
It seems that on occasional trips to the loo, I have lost me grip, and had released a cabbgae induced sonic boom.....
But all is not lost, as it seems the troll at the end of the bar is gone, and in her place,...... is a rather presentable lass. ;D ;D

Ok, ok, I will stop.
Wayne
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: Hillbilly on March 18, 2010, 11:54:01 pm: Wayne, you have got to get to one of the shoots up here in the United States. You'll obviously fit right in at the campfire with the rest of us crazy galoots.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: mullet on March 19, 2010, 01:36:06 am: Hell, Steve, he's crazy when he's at my house. ;D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: stickbender on March 19, 2010, 02:24:55 am: Yeah, but I am known for that. ::) I really would like to go to the Classic, but it doesn't look, like I can afford to this year. Eddie, and Cathy, keep telling me about how much fun it is. I have cousins in Cookeville, that I haven't seen for quite some time. But like I said, right now it doesn't look like I can swing it. It's at the end of April right? Wait till you see Eddie's little tear drop camper. Pretty cool. Maybe he will tow it with his jeep, that he uses for an occasional game of bumper pig...... ;D I would really like to get up there and meet everybody, but I guess I will have hide my cat from Pat....... ;D Looks just like the one in the picture, cept bigger. But maybe one day, I can get to some of those shoots, and meet everyone. Eddie, speaking of your house, when are you finally going to be home? Sounds like you will have quite a lot to keep busy with, but just think of the prestige of that certificate. ;)

Wayne
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: DanaM on March 19, 2010, 07:39:30 am: Wayne stowaway in eddie's camper eh :D
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: mullet on March 19, 2010, 08:54:25 am: Wayne, I start the journey today. A driver will take me to Uberlandia today. Saturday morning I'll fly to Sao Paulo to Garulhas Airport and be in Orlando by 7:30 Saturday night.
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: HatchA on March 19, 2010, 05:54:17 pm: Quote from: stickbender on March 18, 2010, 07:21:54 pm
But all is not lost, as it seems the troll at the end of the bar is gone, and in her place,...... is a rather presentable lass. ;D ;D

I love it!!!! :D brilliant!!!

*tips hat*
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: stickbender on March 19, 2010, 08:16:10 pm: Thanks HatchA, I wonder about the Irish Haiku, " Refrigerator " Hmmmm, meaning cool? Beer storage unit? Beer and food storage unit? The " light " is not on when the door is closed? Like a closed mind.... ;) Uh......I guess you will have to find the guy with the shirt and ask him what it means to him..... ;) I personally like the shirts, that leave no doubt. Some Friends of mine for My Birthday, gave me a T Shirt that says, " I'm Not a Gynecologist, but I will take a look " ;D Refrigerator is a little too heavy for me,...Ohhh, maybe that is it....... Heavy Dude......Oh well I am sure it makes perfect sense to him.

Wayne
Title: Re: Stupid Saint Patrick's Day Limericks
Post by: HatchA on March 19, 2010, 08:34:03 pm: A guy in work got a t-shirt on his honeymoon last year in America...

"Friends don't let friends buy red tractors"

A John Deere t-shirt :D

Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were stranded on a desert island in the Pacific.
Paddy Englishman was walking on the beach one day when he tripped over an old lamp. He dug it out of the sand and brought it back to his two friends to show them.
As it was being passed around from hand to hand, the sand being rubbed off; smoked billowed from the spout and a Genie appeared and granted them each one wish...

Paddy Englishman was first to speak: "I wish I was back home with my loving wife and family..." he said. The Genie snapped his fingers and *POOF*, Paddy Englishman disappeared.

Paddy Scotsman spoke up next: "Ah wish Ah wur back haime tae, in th'airms o' mah bonny lass an' the we'ans aboot th'floore". Another snap, another *POOF* and he too disappeared.

Paddy Irishman took a few moments... Looked about him at the surrounding island, thought for a few seconds then said:

"Oi wish me two pals wer' back heeyar wit' me... Oi'm ahfle lonely boy meself!!"

;D