Primitive Archer

Main Discussion Area => Around the Campfire => Topic started by: sleek on November 11, 2015, 09:31:12 am

Title: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: sleek on November 11, 2015, 09:31:12 am
I was skipping school to find a deer I shot the night before. I came home from taking my wife to work and son to school. I pulled into the neighborhood and next to the pond there were about 8 people, mostly women all crying and screaming. I drove up to see. What I saw was beyond words.

A man was beating the chest of a soaked two year old little girl who had fallin in. She was very blue and lifeless.  He was frantically slamming his fists on her. I said I got it and took over. I started cpr and got some water out of her. I continued cpr until the paramedics arrived.  Unfortunately,  I wasnt there soon enough. She had been under too long. The father said he had went to the bathroom and when he got out she was gone. It was about 15 min before they found her. There are cameras around the pond that picked up the girl just being a kid chasing the geese. Then she got too close and fell in. 

She was my neighbor. This is hard to recover from. Especially because I was there and cant get the image out my mind. Never delt with a child before. In war, friends, but never a kid. Thoughts for the family, I cant imagine their grief.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: CherokeeKC on November 11, 2015, 09:34:09 am
Dang man im sorry.  I cant imagine going through something like that on your side or the families.  Sending prayers.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: J05H on November 11, 2015, 10:06:58 am
Man, that's a tough thing to go through. Like Cherokee, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling, let alone the family of the little girl. Her family, you, and your entire community have my deepest sympathies. It's important to remember that you did everything you could.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Ed Brooks on November 11, 2015, 10:42:25 am
Sleek, I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's hard to know you can't do anything. You did what you could, may that little angle rest in peace. Ed
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Zuma on November 11, 2015, 04:23:11 pm
Sorry Sleek,
Don't be hard on yourself.
He maketh and taketh. Prayers for you, yours
and the family of the little girl.
Zuma
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: le0n on November 11, 2015, 04:46:32 pm
that is extremely tragic.

hopefully everyone involved can find peace in the days to come.

i can't even begin to imagine what that family is going to go through. i really hope they have the support they need.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: sleek on November 11, 2015, 05:01:05 pm
I wish I had done many things differently,  tried harder, things I could/should have done differently.  I dont know if they would have made a difference or not but at least I would know I did do more than I did. I didnt do everything possible, because I was afraid to stop what I was doing and turn her upside down to help the water out, or Heimlich maneuver to force water out faster,  or work a bystander to get the girl warm. 

I wish I knew something I could do for the family. But I really think the best is to leave them alone and not bother. I cant close my eyes and not see her. Every time I blink I see her laying there with more detail than needs be said.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: JW_Halverson on November 11, 2015, 05:09:30 pm
Words fail in times like these.  All I can say is that I hear you, I hear you.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: sieddy on November 11, 2015, 05:45:15 pm
Really sorry to hear about this tragedy for your community. I hope you all find some measure of peace in the days to come.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Ed Brooks on November 11, 2015, 05:53:06 pm
Sleek, you can try talking to your local fire/ police or rescue department. they should be able to set you up with some one to talk too. maybe even some of the people that were on the this call. I hope the very best for you. good on you for getting involved, this world needs more ppl just like you. Ed 
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Badly Bent on November 11, 2015, 06:03:51 pm
You have my utmost respect for stepping up and taking action, you did all that could be done under the circumstances.
Go easy on yourself Sleek and hopefully time will heal the pain for you and the girls family.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: hunterbob on November 11, 2015, 06:33:09 pm
Nothing you could of done sleek. Don't beat yourself up overy it . GOD works in mysterious ways. 
I lost a son to leukemia at the age of 13 back in 2003 . The best thing you can do is dwell on the good memories you have of the little girl and I mean dwell on them. That is how I have delt and continue to deal with the death of my son.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Zuma on November 11, 2015, 08:00:53 pm
We lost a family member years ago.
A unique four year old (autistic).He was a nephew by marriage
but I was fortunate to see him often. For some reason he
responded to me more than most. I have a deep voice that
I think had  more of an effect on Michale than most because
I talked to him while in Momma's womb. When I would
speak he would crawl to me and I would embrace him in my lap.
 We just clicked. His dad would take him to the river in the back
 yard of their home. He loved it. I was there throwing rocks in
with Michale too. Often. Some how he climbed the four foot
play yard fence and marched himself to heaven.
Sure it totally sucks. But life demands that if you want your own
 strength back. You must  pass that strength forward to your kin
and all you know. God bless you. Let him.
hurting Zuma
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Marks on November 12, 2015, 12:38:34 pm
My little boy is almost 2. This makes me sick to think about. Hind sight is 20/20. You can always go back and say you could have done something different when the things you did didn't work. You did all you could in that moment considering the situation you were in. All you can do now is try to prepare yourself for if you are every in a similar situation again. The image won't go away but it will fade with time.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: sleek on November 12, 2015, 01:21:49 pm
I am working on setting up myself to become a first responder. I will not be caught unprepared again. I have been trained in the past but thats been a long 7 years ago.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: riverrat on November 12, 2015, 02:57:51 pm
so sorry to hear she passed. good effort on your part. i can only imagine how hard it must be to deal with. sometimes, try as you may , at whatever in life, it dont always work out. all you can do is put your best foot forward and go on. Tony
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: stickbender on November 12, 2015, 03:23:49 pm
    Sleek, I can understand your feelings, I am not saying I know how you feel, only you know that.  But I used to be a fire fighter/emt.  Before that I worked in our central dispatch.  I always dreaded the call of a child drowning.  I was on many calls involving children.  Even though you tried, if she was down for too long, then, there is nothing that you could have done differently.  Death is part of life, you just have to accept, that you did the best you could.  I was on a call for a 2 yr. old drowning, not far from our station.  The Rescue unit and two medics rushed the child to the ER, and left the Driver of the engine and me with the Father.   While the engine driver and I waited with the grieving Father, we waited for the neighbor, whom was a nurse, to come over, and drive him to the hospital, the engine driver and I both felt completely useless, we tried to console the Father, and explain it was not his fault.  the kid somehow got past the safety fence, and fell into the pool.  The kid ended up dying, despite best efforts of two of the best medics we had.  They both were excellent medics, very skilled, and knowledgeable.  This was on Christmas Eve.!  But sometimes, it is just something where it is not for you to change, and you can't beat yourself up with it, and you just have to accept that you did what you could, and get on with YOUR life.  Be proud that you stepped up to plate, and at least tried.  I used to teach CPR classes, and people would say, well what if I did something wrong, and the person died?  I would simply ask them what if you did nothing what would happen to the person who was dying?  They would die.  Do something, even if it is wrong, at least try.  And you did.
I know it is not something that you see often, and it is in deed disturbing, but don't dwell on it.  If it still bothers, you ask the fire dept., or the responding medics, if they have a crisis council team.  Our Dept. did, and after a nasty call, they would come out and talk.  Even talking to the medics on the call, will help.
They, can give you insight, as to how they handle it.  Good luck, and thank you for trying.  You did what you could.
                                    Wayne
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Marks on November 12, 2015, 03:25:39 pm
I am working on setting up myself to become a first responder. I will not be caught unprepared again. I have been trained in the past but thats been a long 7 years ago.

It makes me realize that I need to take some sort of basic first aid training. Especially since I am raising a little one. I've always considered joining our local volunteer fire dept but never have had the time.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Traxx on November 12, 2015, 06:27:31 pm
I had a million things go through my mind,when i read your post Sleek and im not even gonna attempt to say anything,to make a difference,or make you feel better about this situation,except.....

I know its hard not to,but DO NOT try and justify any self blame on yourself in this situation,it will eat you up.Its a sad and absolutely awful situation,that i dont wish on anyone.

I will pray for all involved.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: sleek on November 12, 2015, 07:23:04 pm
There will be an open casket tonight. Im going. Normally I dont think I would. But honestly,  I dont want the last image of this little girl in my memory to be what it is now. I spoke with the mother today. They tried two hours in the hhospital to revive her. Body temp suggested 20 min in the water. I got there too late. Terrible as it is I now know the was nothing I could do. It helps, a little. The blviewing will help me more I hope. Then I am concentrating all my energies on helping the family. The mother is sad but coping. The father bla.es himself as he was alone with her when it happened. He hasnt left the bedroom since. They need help.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: JW_Halverson on November 12, 2015, 07:59:31 pm
I am working on setting up myself to become a first responder. I will not be caught unprepared again. I have been trained in the past but thats been a long 7 years ago.

It makes me realize that I need to take some sort of basic first aid training. Especially since I am raising a little one. I've always considered joining our local volunteer fire dept but never have had the time.

A very good reason for all of us to get certified in CPR. It's the best tribute to Sleek, to the child, and her family.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: vinemaplebows on November 12, 2015, 09:36:06 pm
Terrible.....my thoughts are with the parents...gut wrenching! :-[ :-[ :-[
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: wizardgoat on November 13, 2015, 11:52:44 am
Wow man that's horrible. I have a couple little 2 year old buddies and I couldn't imagine that.
Good on you for trying, those poor parents
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: Parnell on November 13, 2015, 12:44:17 pm
What a tragedy.  Some things can never be recovered from.  How sad.
Title: Re: There was a very upsetting death in the neighborhood
Post by: JW_Halverson on November 13, 2015, 02:45:46 pm
Kevin (sleek) has set up a fund to assist the family. I'm sending something in tomorrow's mail.  Let your conscience tell you what to do.