Author Topic: ya'll gotta stop doing this....  (Read 7649 times)

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Offline billy

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ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« on: March 12, 2010, 11:02:37 am »
...putting the new magazine up on the website before I get a copy!  Whenever I see the new issue online, I start having heart palpitations.  I sit and stare at the mailbox, waiting for Mr. Postman to deliver the new issue.  I long to discover the new articles , what new colorful pictures will be inside, and what new experiences I will have just by reading everyone's stories.  I don't just bite my nails, I eat half my fingers off.  If I smoked I would have a cigarette in my mouth 24 hours a day until my magazine arrived or I burned down my house.  I try to sleep, but can't.  Food loses all its flavor.  Beautiful colors fade to muted grays and browns.  I check the mailbox religiously, only to be disappointed when nothing but bills and credit card applications are inside.  As days become weeks, life slowly loses meaning.  I drag myself out of bed in the morning and can't crawl back in fast enough in the evening.  I mope through the day.  I wish I could just hibernate through this time of depression and disappointment...but I can't.

And then, when I hit rock bottom and I question why I even continue to struggle through this existence called living, I open my mailbox for what I swear is the last time (and I mean it), and a beautiful gleam of light pierces the darkness as I open the mailbox door.  This mailbox, my cruel tormentor, the source of my disappointment and soon-to-be self destruction, suddenly becomes my source of greatest joy as it finally relinquishes my salvation....my newest issue of Primitive Archer Magazine!  The gleaming white package surrounds me with the most beautiful light I have ever seen.  It's like an angel from the heavens.  I hear a chorus of "Hallelujah!  Hallelujah!" as I open the package and the cool, glossy cover slides across my hands.  That wonderful smell of a new magazine perks my nose....it's a delicious scent of newness, and of the unknown.  The contents of the magazine have never been seen by human eyes before.  I feel as though I am about to skydive for the first time.  Overjoyed but apprehensive, I cannot resist any more.  I open the cover and my breath suddenely stops as though I am in free-fall.

Like a man dying of thirst who first drinks from the spring, I drink in the pages, the colors, the stories.  A rush of energy and life returns to my once drained body.  My face smiles, the meaning of life is clear to me now.  Colors return in a vibrance that overwhelms my ability to describe them, and I fall to my knees and weep. This is life, and I am alive!! 

This beautiful magazine will be at my side for the next 2 weeks.  I will take it out to dinner.  It doesn't each much, but that's ok.  I always finish off its portion.  It spends the night with me, cradled in my arms.  It doesn't talk much, but that's ok too.  It doesn't have to.  It's already given me everything I need.     :)   
Marietta, Georgia

Offline cracker

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Re: ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2010, 12:34:30 pm »
Billy good heavens we gotta get you to a stave and a draw knife maybe that'll hold you until help arrives. There is a real doctor experienced in dealing with your afflicition but unfortunately he hasn't been in lately I fear the addicition may have swallowed him too. Here is what I want you to do. 1. Get to the classic.
                                                   2. Get a stave if you have no money Dana can teach you how to get a free stave.
                                                   3. Get a draw knife in you're hand and get into the real world of wood.
You should be warned it may be too late already but were here for you.Best wishes and good luck. Ronnie
If we can't help each other what is the point of being here?

Offline Josh

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  • Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
Re: ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2010, 01:23:20 pm »
 ;D  awesome
“The trouble with quotes on the Internet is you never know if they are genuine.” —Abraham Lincoln

Offline youngbowyer33

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Re: ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2010, 06:15:11 pm »
that sounds almost exactly like a poem i read today in school about the coming of spring only about the coming of your new issue of PA :D
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us"

Offline zenmonkeyman

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Re: ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2010, 08:53:35 pm »
I kind of see what you're saying Billy, but why don't you tell us how you FEEL?  Why are you holding back?

 ;)
If the ppl ever allow private banks to control their currency, 1st by inflation, then by deflation, the banks & corporations that will grow up around (these banks) will deprive the ppl of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered. Thomas Jefferson

Offline profsaffel

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Re: ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2010, 02:33:22 pm »
That's a great story, but honestly... aren't you just a little too calm about it to be a true fan of PA?  :P  ;D
Professor of History, Student of Bowyery

Offline Parnell

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Re: ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2010, 03:04:06 pm »
So Billy, what was your relationship like with your mother?   ;) ;D  Just kiddin.

That was some outstanding writing.  Well done!
1’—>1’

Offline billy

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Re: ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2010, 07:04:53 pm »
my mom and I are very close!  And She is a writer/photographer, so she taught me proper english and how to take good photos....which has helped a lot in my writing for PA
Marietta, Georgia

HatchA

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Re: ya'll gotta stop doing this....
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2010, 11:22:07 pm »
my mom and I are very close!  And She is a writer/photographer, so she taught me proper english and how to take good photos....which has helped a lot in my writing for PA

Shouldn't that be "correct English"...? ;D  hehehe

Nice writing indeed, man.  I've yet to receive my first issue of PA in the mail...   :'(   when's it due out?